What To Do?

"Do not pass by me. I beg you.... I'm right here."
I don't mind, living the rest of my life to prove how much I love you...
But, what to do? What to do? The question keep on haunting me every day... Every time you tell me the word of love.. Should I do nothing? Should I stop trying?

I did. I love someone else back then. I fell so hard. But, when I gained my courage to rise my self over again, I knew they are my past. I knew how painful it is to realized your beloved one was belong to someone else... But everyone have past...
What to do? What to do? The question is now spoken for myself instead of you....

I can write you a lot love letters.. But I've written something for my precious lover. I can serenade you love songs but I've sung for my precious lover. I can give you my all but you can always say I've given everything to my previous lover....
I give you every space in my mind but I used to think about somebody else before you.. What to do? What to do? A singer will sing to show the feeling, a writer will write, a lover will love. But what to do if I can't do all of them for you?

I enjoy doing things you hate.. How to fix it? How to fix it?
I'm sorry... I'm sorry... For that you are not my first in a lot of things... I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry...
But you hate it when I say sorry.. What to do? What to do? I want you to die loving me.. I want to die being loved by you... What to do?
How is it? Are you tired enough to be loved by insatiable and obsessive one?

I though, I was trying to love you better.. But all I do is messing everything up.. I thought I understand you but I don't... What to do?
I wanna touch you.. But I pulled my hand back as I realized I used it to touch someone else back then...
I wanna say I love you but I said it to someone else before...
I keep on thinking of how to say and show you my feeling in the way you can be comfortable.. But I find no answer.

Even though I was a silly one, I still loving you with all my strength. But sometimes I've stopped..
Even though I used to randomly hug and kiss you, I've stopped..
Even though I wrote a lot and show you, I've stopped...
I wrote, keep it, taking notes, memorize, and delete all of them...
What to do? What to do? I keep on asking.. For everything that I've done, are they enough?
Will you keep loving me this way?

I've never experienced something like this and I don't know what to do.. I always... Always ruin everything.. What should I do?
From now on.. All I can do is to love you in silence. Cause I'm too afraid, I might ruin everything over and over again...

As long as you are okay.. As long as you are happy... I will do nothing unnecessary.
For you.... I can't give anything more than something I've given to my precious lover..
But whatever you asked me to do I'll do, whatever you like I'll do, whatever you hate I'll avoid, that's all effort I can do not to lose you.

I still have something I haven't given to anyone.. My life... Will it be enough?
Since that's the only thing left...
And once again, I don't want to lose you...

Your precious one,


一Aira chan

Lirik iKon-Apology (Hangul/Romanization/English/Indonesia)

This song make me baper guys. The lyric and the video...

Ahh :') Check this out guys~

iKon-Apology (지못미)

Hangul

언제나 넌 같은 자리에

항상 날 기다렸지만

I was gone I was gone

바보같이 나를 믿지 마

영원히 널 지키겠단 말

거짓말 거짓말

오늘따라 자주 보던 TV Drama에선

뻔한 장면들이 날 보며 비웃고 있어

난 마치 죄인처럼 run away

넌 오늘도 내게 소리 질러 go away

내가 이기적인 놈이란 걸

넌 알고 있었잖아

사소한 관심을 바란 네가

부담스러웠나 봐

그 흔한 사진 한 장도

남기지 못한 채

마지막 순간까지도 우린 나만 생각해

미안 미안

지켜주지 못해 미안해 잘 살길바래

미안 미안 너도 날 잊어줘

아프지만

영원히 함께하잔 그 약속

이제는 없는 거야

지켜주지 못해서 미안해

언제나 난 다른 자리에

매일 밤 나의 친구들과

I’m out, all night

뒤집어놓은 내 전화기엔

너의 마지막 한 통의

부재중 전화

오늘따라 흘러나오는 Radio에선

같이 즐겨 듣던 노래가 나오고 있어

난 마치 죄인처럼 run away

넌 오늘도 내게 소리 질러 go away

너에게 오고 가는 사람들 중

한 명이기를 바람 그리고

눈물 벚꽃 모두 떨궈 새싹 피기를 바람 그리고

우리 추억 노을처럼

짧고 아름답기를 바래 이 모든 것

발을 못 뗀 너의 가냘픈 등 기분 좋게 밀기를

미안 미안

지켜주지 못해 미안해 잘 살길바래

미안 미안 너도 날 잊어줘

아프지만

영원히 함께하잔 그 약속

이제는 없는 거야

지켜주지 못해서 미안해

지금까지 차마 못 했던 말

미안해 내가 부족해

끝까지 작은 모습뿐 이라서 yeah

널 채워주지 못한 나를

용서해

나보다 괜찮고 잘난 사람 만나길 바래

미안 미안

지켜주지 못해 미안해 잘 살길바래

미안 미안 너도 날 잊어줘

아프지만

영원히 함께하잔 그 약속

이제는 없는 거야

지켜주지 못해서 미안해

Romanization

Eonjena neon gateun jarie

Hangsang nal gidaryeotjiman

I was gone I was gone

Babogati nareul mitji ma

Yeongwonhi neol jikigetdan mal

Geojimal geojismal

Oneulttara jaju bodeon TV tramaeseon

Ppeonhan jangmyeondeuri nal bomyeo biusgo isseo

Nan machi joeincheoreom run away

Neon oneuldo naege sori jilleo go away

Naega igijeogin nomiran geol

Neon algo isseojanha

Sasohan gwansimeul baran nega

Budamseureowona bwa

Geu heunhan sajin han jangdo

Namgiji motan chae

Majimak sungankkajido urin naman saenggakhae

Mian mian

Jikyeojuji motae mianhae jal salgilbarae

Mian mian neodo nal ijeojwo

Apeujiman

Yeongwonhi hamkkehajan geu yaksok

Ijeneun eopsneun geoya

Jikyeojuji motaeseo mianhae

Eonjena nan dareun jarie

Maeil bam naui chingudeulgwa

I’m out, all night

Dwijibeonoheun nae jeonhwagien

Neoui majimak han tongui

Bujaejung jeonhwa

Oneulttara heulleonaoneun Radioeseon

Gati jeulgyeo deutdeon noraega naogo isseo

Nan machi joeincheoreom run away

Neon oneuldo naege sori jilleo go away

Neoege ogo ganeun saramdeul jung

Han myeongigireul baram geurigo

Nunmul beojkkot modu tteolgwo saessak pigireul baram geurigo

Uri chueok noeulcheoreom

Jjalpgo areumdapgireul barae i modeun geot

Bareul mot tten neoui ganyalpeun deung gibun johge milgireul

Mian mian

Jikyeojuji motae mianhae jal salgilbarae

Mian mian neodo nal ijeojwo

Apeujiman

Yeongwonhi hamkkehajan geu yaksok

Ijeneun eopneun geoya

Jikyeojuji motaeseo mianhae

Jigeumkkaji chama mot haedeon mal

Mianhae naega bujokhae

Kkeutkkaji jageun moseupppun iraseo yeah

Neol chaewojuji motan nareul

Yongseohae

Naboda gwaenchanhgo jalnan saram mannagil barae

Mian mian

Jikyeojuji motae mianhae jal salgilbarae

Mian mian neodo nal ijeojwo

Apeujiman

Yeongwonhi hamkkehajan geu yaksok

Ijeneun eopneun geoya

Jikyeojuji motaeseo mianhae

English

You were always at the same place

Waiting for me but

I wat gone I wat gone

Don’t trust me like a fool

When I said I would protect you

They’re lies lies

Especially today the typical scenes on the TV drama

That I always watch are laughing at me

Like a criminal I run away

You yell at me again today, go away

You always knew that I’m selfish

I guess you were burdensome to me by wanting a little attention

Without even leaving that one photo

I think of myself only, even on the last moment

Sorry sorry

Sorry for not being able to protect you

I hope you live well

Sorry sorry forget about me

It hurts

But that promise we made to be together forever no longer exists

Sorry for not being able to protect you

I’m always in a different place

Every night with my friends

I’m out all night

There’s one last missed call from you on my phone that’s flipped over

Especially today, the song that we enjoyed together on the radio

Like a criminal I run away

You yell at me again, go away

From all the people who come and go

I hope I stand out as one

Tears, cherry blossoms, they all hang low

I hope the sprouts blossom and

I hope our memories were short and beautiful like a sunset

Your slim back couldn’t walk away yet

I hope you push away in a good mood

Sorry sorry

Sorry for not being able to protect you

I hope you live well

Sorry sorry forget about me

It hurts

But that promise we made to be together forever no longer exists

Sorry for not being able to protect you

The things I couldn’t say

Sorry that I’m not enough

That I can’t be the bigger person yeah

Please forgive me, the one who couldn’t fill you up

I hope you meet someone okay and better than me

Sorry sorry

Sorry for not being able to protect you

I hope you live well

Sorry sorry forget about me

It hurts

But that promise we made to be together forever no longer exists

Sorry for not being able to protect you

Sorry for not being able to protect you

Indonesia

Kau selalu menungguku

Di tempat yang sama seperti biasa tapi

Aku sudah pergi aku sudah pergi

Jangan percaya padaku seperti orang bodoh

Aku bilang aku akan melindungimu selamanya

tapi itu semua bohong, bohong

Untuk beberapa alasan, hari ini aku selalu menonton drama TV

yang memiliki adegan klise yang tampaknya akan menertawakanku

Seolah-olah aku seorang pendosa, aku lari

Dan lagi, kau berteriak padaku untuk pergi

Kau selalu mengetahui bahwa

Aku seorang pria egois

Ku kira aku merasa terbebani

Olehmu saat kau hanya meminta sedikit perhatian

Tanpa pernah meninggalkan sebuah foto

seperti orang lain telah mengambilnya

Sampai saat-saat terakhir kita hanya memikirkan diriku

Maaf maaf

Maaf ku tak bisa melindungimu, ku harap kau akan baik-baik saja

Maaf maaf ku berharap kau juga melupakanku

Meskipun itu sakit

Janji yang kita buat untuk bersama selamanya

Tak ada lagi

Maaf aku tak bisa menjaganya

Aku selalu di tempat yang berbeda

Setiap malam bersama teman-teman

Aku keluar sepanjang malam

Teleponku terbalik tapi pada saat itu

Kau orang terakhir

Panggilan tidak terjawab

Untuk beberapa alasan, hari ini memutar radio

Lagu-lagu kita nikmati bersama-sama

Seolah-olah aku seorang pendosa, aku lari

Dan lagi, kau berteriak padaku untuk pergi

Dan ku berharap aku hanya salah satu dari banyak orang dalam hidupmu

Yang datang dan pergi

Ku berharap sebagaimana air mata dan bunga sakura yang jatuh

Akan ada kehidupan baru tumbuh dari mereka dan

Ku berharap kenangan kita adalah singkat dan indah

Sama seperti matahari terbenam, dan ku berharap

Semua hal ini bisa

Mendorong pada kelembutanmu kembali dengan alam yang baik

Meskipun kau masih belum bisa melangkahkan kakimu dari tanah

Maaf maaf

Maaf aku tak bisa melindungimu, ku harap kau akan baik-baik saja

Maaf maaf ku berharap kau juga melupakanku

Meskipun itu sakit

Janji yang kita buat untuk bersama selamanya

Tak ada lagi

Maaf aku tak bisa menjaganya

Dan ku berharap aku hanya salah satu dari banyak orang dalam hidupmu

Yang datang dan pergi

Ku berharap sebagaimana air mata dan bunga sakura yang jatuh

Akan ada kehidupan baru tumbuh dari mereka dan

Ku berharap kenangan kita adalah singkat dan indah

Sama seperti matahari terbenam, dan ku berharap

Semua hal ini bisa

Mendorong pada kelembutanmu kembali dengan alam yang baik

Meskipun kau masih belum bisa melangkahkan kakimu dari tanah

Maaf maaf

Maaf aku tak bisa melindungimu, ku harap kau akan baik-baik saja

Maaf maaf ku berharap kau juga melupakanku

Meskipun itu sakit

Janji yang kita buat untuk bersama selamanya

Tak ada lagi

Maaf aku tak bisa menjaganya

Maaf ku tak bisa melindungimu

Ku menyesal bahwa aku tak cukup

Bahwa sampai terakhir aku hanya menunjukkan bagian kecil dariku, ya

Tolong maafkan aku, atas ketidakmampuan mengisimu

Ku harap kau bertemu seseorang

Yang lebih baik dariku, lebih ramah dariku

Maaf maaf

Maaf ku tak bisa melindungimu, ku harap kau akan baik-baik saja

Maaf maaf ku berharap kau juga melupakanku

Meskipun itu sakit

Janji yang kita buat untuk bersama selamanya

Tak ada lagi

Maaf ku tak bisa menjaganya

Maaf ku tak bisa melindungimu

cr: idnnetwork, kpoplyrics

"Kalau kamu menerima cinta, kamu bisa melihat sekilas surga."

"Kalau kamu mengabaikan cinta, kamu akan seperti di neraka."

Kayoedomo

You know why a poem is beautiful?
For me, every poem says a lot of thing even if it only has one sentence.
From one person to another, the meaning of the same poem could be different. That's what makes it meaningful. There was a poem, written by Komachi. She lived in 9th century.

"Though I go to you ceaselessly along dream paths, the sum of those trysts is less than a single glimpse granted in the waking world."

There was the translation as well, but it's still hard to understand.
The translate says, "i go often" but the writer choose the word "kayoedomo" which means "to come and go" or "to commute."
And then she wrote "hitome" but she wrote is as一目 which is read as hito and means "a person."
Then it could be translated as "a glimpse of a person." which in other word, a symbol of a loved one.

In the last line, the writer wrote "mishigoto which is taken from the word "miki" while it is the past tense of "miru", to see.

And the last, she wrote "arazu" it is written "mishigoto wa arazu" as a complete sentence. And the same like "de wa nai" the word arazu means, it is not, it is different.
The full meaning was simply, "I go often to you in my dreams, but I never see you in the real word."

I always think of how sad this poem could be to see her loved one only in her dreams, to walk in every paths but never found him.
But today I give the poem to you so you know how I interpreted the poem in my own by the thoughts of you.

The first line says how I wanted to meet the right person to love it says kayoedomo for that person was coming and then gone. While domo means although because, although you have come, I was letting another people walk into my life.

The wrong people come and go because they aren't the right choice. while you come and go because we never realized it sooner. And related the next word about the dream paths, thus,  I always dreamed about my love.

I can only see you in my dreams, as a dream and I thought we haven't met. So that I often go to you in my dreams. But in my dreams, hitome. I can only see the glimpse of a person because I don't know exactly of a person who always dreaming about.

But then in the last line. It says in the real word, also dream, there is no different. I can only see a glimpse of someone. So I realized, since the first line written, the writer may have met her loved one.
The dream and reality have no difference because he came, without the writer realized it before.

You come and go, I can only see you in my dream, cause I didn't even try to reach you. I was dreaming while my dream has come true. I thought my dream was still a dream that everyday I come to see you there.

But in my dreams, I can't see you clearly because you were in my reality. But in reality, I can't see you clearly because I thought I still have to wait for my dreams to be come true. And in the first translation, it says, in the waking world the dream is finally granted.

Koishiteru....

With all my love,


一Aira chan.